Sparks; 2015; 21.25″ x 29.25″; mixed media: watercolor, acrylic, ink, pastel.
In the last ten days, hell-flames burned near; but hope-fire blazed ever more real. At times I felt trampled, like grass in a flood: soggy and mud clogged, bent under raging billows. Sometimes I felt like a tree surviving a winter storm, battered but proud, lifting weathered defiant arms in worship. Many times Elijah’s birds swooped in out of nowhere with gifts of sustenance: food, encouragement, prayer. And I felt loved far beyond what I deserve: humbled and grateful. Always, I knew I was held.
Ten days ago, a person I dearly love was hospitalized for acute mental illness. This person was discharged yesterday.
At first, crisis shock numbed my heart. The first few days were a blur of phone calls, appointments, just trying to keep the basics of a household moving. Then pain crushed in, raw, trembling, ragged. On that day I disengaged from phone and email. I picked up tools of emotional survival and began to paint: deeper than conscious thought, beyond questions and fear.
In a place beyond words, these snippet-attempts to translate the language of the soul emerge:
sudden violent winds raging below, above, all around
the mighty flame of God’s Presence with me, for me, shielding the core of my heart
there in that secret place, a hidden fire, unseen on the outside but more real than any external experience
the raging tempest activates sparks
sparks streaking through a dark night, perhaps intersecting with another broken heart
hope ignited
Like a responsive song, I whispered to the paper; the paint sang back to me. Peace flooded my soul. For me, Sparks is the visual record of this sacred exchange.
Colleen Briggs Art & Writing 
Your painting resonates with pure peace and serenity.
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thank you tony! sometimes the deepest peace is the one hardest fought for…
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Sending so much light and love your way through prayer.
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your daughter’s art flashes through my mind often when i am running – my best time of contemplation when i rehearse all the reasons i’d like to give up, and all the reasons i never will. your daughter’s artwork keeps me going…
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Just beautiful. The words and the painting!
Praying for peace and deliverance for you all.
xoxo
Megan http://www.teamnilsen.com
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thank you so much for your love and encouragement megan! your honest, transparent writing is always a gift to me.
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Colleen,
I loved reading the song/prayer of your heart that’s behind this beautiful painting—powerful! And how beautiful this sacred exchange.
~joanna
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what a gift your heart is to me joanna!
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Your painting truly expresses all the sentiments you write about. In many ways I think the visual language is more capable of expressing those difficult emotions around mental health.
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yes, i agree otto. there are just some things that there are no words for. image is both revealing and healing in a way that words can never be.
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Lovely piece, lovely post. Sending up prayers for warmth and comfort for you and yours.
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thank you! i’m so glad you found me. prayer, indeed, is the heartbeat of walking this challenging journey.
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