There was a time in my life when I was stunned into silence. I unexpectedly received news of harm done to someone I love, two days later met the person who caused the harm face-to-face, and then several days after that received medical confirmation for my loved one of resulting lifelong disability.
It was too much, too fast. I shut down. People who cared deeply about me surrounded me, yet knew nothing of what was happening, or only bits and pieces. Grief penetrated like an arrow so deeply buried that even the shaft disappeared into the aching flesh of my heart. I stopped writing, and I stopped verbalizing anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary for some time after.
I understood why sometimes children cope with trauma by refusing to speak. For some things, there are no words. Painting, however, over the next few years, opened a pathway to healing.
I feel silenced right now, though not from trauma or sadness. I simply feel there are movements in my soul for which words will not come. Or perhaps I am on the other side of speaking. I’ve said much of what I want to say, and now I settle into peaceful listening. Wherever I am, there seem to be only images, painting, visual expression.
I’m not sure when words will return; but for now, colors, shapes, images sing the visions of my soul.
Reblogged this on God's Creative Gift — Unleashing the Artist in You and commented:
I am in the very beginning stages of writing my next book – about the healing journey of the artist and the artist as healer. This post and artwork touches on how God heals through the artistic process. It’s beautiful!
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Thank you so much for re-posting Jody! I thank God that He has given us a language for the soul when words fail. It took me a long time to realize how much I needed this language. Your work helps validate a pathway to healing that is often under-recognized. Even beyond my own journey, I think of a time when a child I love tried to process deep, deep trauma; and he was unable to access words. But when he drew his pain, he was able to share the unbearable and thus to access healing. I am so grateful to God for the gift of creativity.
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PS I can’t wait to read your book!! 🙂
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I suffer from a disability, wrote my traumatic life stories and then got them published recently. Best wishes for your next book. 🙂
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For those who love deeply the pain likewise runs deep. Grief is to be shared through tears and words as you say and is the pathway to our healing after a time. As someone once said we need to feel our feelings to get through them.
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True…I realised that.
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Dear Novealist – I am so glad you are writing and sharing your journey with the rest of us so that we can learn from your painfully-wrought wisdom. Thank you so much for visiting my site, and I greatly appreciated my visit to yours.
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You’re welcome. In humble appreciation; thank you kindly. Wishing you well 🙂
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You express your soul so beautifully through colors, shapes, and images.
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thank you my friend!
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I understand silence, when one is devastated. I was a rape victim and understand it, sometimes betrayal has made me silent, but there is so much beauty in life,too, that God has created. I am reminded of that when I look out at the dew covered trees in the morning. Life becomes more poignant .one becomes sadly wiser
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i am so sorry for your deep pain, and yet i can see the beauty of your soul arising from ashes!
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Such a wonderful post…thank you.
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thank you – your posts are a blessing to me.
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What a traumatic thing to have experienced! It reminded me of Maya Angelou’s experience as a child when she stopped talking. Also, I loved this: ‘I simply feel there are movements in my soul for which words will not come. Or perhaps I am on the other side of speaking’. I experience this as well but often in a good way. It feels like my mind and mouth have become silent and my heart and soul have taken over, expressing the intensity of what words cannot express to Him who understands.
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yes the verse that talks about the Holy Spirit interceding for us with groans that words cannot express is so dear to my heart. the deep wordless places of my heart connect to His, and He understands. amen and amen.
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OOH I really like this painting!
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so glad to see a visit from you! brightens my day! 🙂
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So sorry… for whatever it was that pained you so much… I verbalise a lot….if not orally through the written word and so find it difficult to understand silence…… yet this post touched me…. take care.
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As I learned more about childhood trauma in order to help my two children who are adopted, I came across the saying, “What is shareable is bearable.” Although silence can overtake me for a season, I do believe there must be some type of connection with another human, and most of all God, for true healing to take place. It’s good that you are able to verbally process!
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Yes I know it is… it takes out the sting.. I do not always talk… but I love putting it to paper…. you do it too, but in color n shapes… your paintings speak a lot… keep writing n painting..take care.
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